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The 10 Most Perverted Old School Video Games

So if you're still trying to solve the mystery that the bad graphics have given us, you're either a rescue worker carrying a fire hose and airlifting a woman out mouth-first with your penis, or you have double the normal amount of reproductive organs, one of them a handle and the other a fire extinguisher. Whichever of those adu,t this erotic game is trying to create, unnhh!

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Putting out the fire takes a few minutes, and while you're doing it, the only thing natives can do is throw rocks at the strange flying machine stealing their lunch. And just like you'd expect, a amdroid is no match for a helicopter dangling a naked man with a groin that can put out forest fires. The actual rescue is simple, but your only reward is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it animation download hacked adult gay android games a half-monster woman sixty-nining you.

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There's no reason to And if riding out of the jungle biting on the end of a man's unit didn't give you a good indication of how smart this woman is, it takes this dumbass all of three seconds to find her way from your face back to the native people's cooking pot to start the whole ordeal over. The Yakyuken Special is gag complicated game.

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Narutopixxx you select from a stable of cute Japanese girls to play Rock-Paper-Scissors against. Actually, "cute" isn't the right word for all of them.

Some of these girls are at least half donkey. After you pick one, she politely gives her name, measurements and age, and then challenges you to Rock-Paper-Scissors. If you win, she removes a piece of clothing.

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Then there's a video of her dancing. But not a sexy, stripper dance.

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All the girls dance like adorable bouncing princesses. Run away from the man with the camera--run away as fast as you can!

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Of course, this is a game from Japan. We should just be happy that an octopus demon didn't slither into the room and take a crap on her forehead. The innocence never leaves these dancing girls' faces.

There are times where you swear they have no idea that getting naked and gamed on a Sega Saturn is naughty.

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They have the same demeanor they'd have if they were performing in a talent show for their grandmothers. That means that no matter how naked they get, you, the player, are the one who feels dirty. Here's the thing, though: That doesn't make it less hot.

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Because whether you're innocently smiling while you hop in your underwear or climbing a sleazy juice-bar's pole with your vagina, if you're an Asian teenager, perverted old men are going to like it.

Each strip-showdown lasts until androod loses five times. By that time, it's either game over, or you're hentai de peach a prancing nude girl spread the spirit of friendship with her smile and exposed nipples.

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The Yakyuken Special is unleashed! Unfortunately, this game cheats.

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I swear it fucking cheats. Statistically, in Rock-Paper-Scissors, you should win about half the games. Here you anrroid win one out of every 50 games. If you manage to spend the time and effort required to get a girl in this game to adorably peel her panties off, you probably could have gotten laid 30 to 40 times by actual women.

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